this episode of Black Mirror’s dragging a bit…
It’s been ages – sorry! In my defence I’ve had a lot on; a new flat to sort out and neighbourhood to settle into and as you may all have heard, there’s a nasty bug going round. Well that was perfect timing, wasn’t it?
Being forced by unprecedented events to take the sort of lengthy break that I can normally only fantasise about (in my fantasy everybody still gets paid and we know when it finishes) is something nobody can do much with and whilst it’s far from ideal, it could be a lot worse. The notable downsides (dropping a sum well into five figures on relocation some six weeks before a sudden nationwide shutdown being the main one, with realising I’d eaten all the biscuits and bagged sweets from my stash over Christmas and not replaced them coming in a close second) out of the way it’s not so awful and compared with what others are having to cope with, I’m definitely counting my blessings. In fact, as a lifelong introvert I’ll be more than happy to continue staying two metres away from everybody else in any public setting for as long as possible; nobody standing right behind me breathing down my neck at the ATM, leaning straight across me in the shops, shoving past me on the pavement or coming anywhere near me generally suits me just fine and helpfully removes the possibility of offence that a briskly delivered ‘fuck off’ can cause.
The aforementioned stash of long life food, toiletries and household goods maintained for occasions such as my being unable to work, disruptions to the supply chain for whatever reason or an outside situation which makes it safer not to go shopping (I’ll admit I hadn’t anticipated D: All Of The Above) has thankfully more than stood up to the challenge and meant that I had no need to join the bunfight in the supermarket for flour, pasta and bog roll, since I have a year or so’s worth of each in my basement and have had for months. Those who have mocked – however gently – take note; without wanting to be even slightly smug, hiving a bit extra away from each grocery shop means (amongst other things) that people genuinely struggling have a better chance of successfully getting the things they need, and also that I can put my feet up and watch Better Call Saul instead. With Angel Delight.
No solitary soul needs telling twice to stay at home and quietly pootle about; along with my new (and desirably taciturn) cuddly pal and flatmate Eve I have had day-long lies in (and recently learned that I have actually been practising what is known as ‘intermittent fasting’ purely by not being arsed to get up before 2pm), sewn face masks, knitted cleaning cloths, baked and batch-cooked, and pickled eggs, onions and cucumbers.
Having gone out well before 8am one Friday, visited three different shops and still not managed to get eggs, my unbridled joy at eventually finding a well stocked shelf caused me to do a spot of mini-panic buying and shamefully buy twelve instead of six, and thanks to an inexplicable obsession with McDonald’s (inexplicable given that I visit the place maybe twice a year, and only normally because I’m going to miss a train otherwise) I have also learned to make English muffins, entirely for the purposes of recreating the breakfast McMuffin at home. My McMuffin (pictured above; note the processed cheese slice from a pack found at the back of the fridge which must be at least a year old), was by far the most fabulous thing that happened all week – full disclosure: I did postpone taking the rubbish out just to leave some excitement for another day. You have to pace yourself.
In terms of actual salient information, like everyone else I don’t really have any – I will be back at work as soon as it’s both legal and practical, this will be made clear on my ads as soon as I can confirm concrete details and we can all get back to normal (including getting to a hairdresser, since I resemble a cavewoman and I’ll be sure to sort it out as best I can before anybody has to actually look at me in person). For anybody who might have been concerned (and not unreasonably), the London flat is safe and I’m not going anywhere but for now, I’m sitting tight just like everybody else and observing the daily proprieties; get up whenever, cook, eat, faff about a bit, read, watch TV, cook and eat some more, change out of daytime pyjamas into bedtime pyjamas and go back to bed again. If anybody who has seen it was wondering, I have not as yet completed my London Underground jigsaw puzzle because the white borders made me murderous, but I’m getting there…
Back to tradition (although more of a Song Of The Month this time round) and a timely message; also a small celebration of Breakfast Club being back on Netflix – yay! And I promise to nip on a bit more often.
More soon.
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