feeling hot hot hot…
Too hot! This evening I bring word from the scorching temperatures and blistering October sunshine of Cambridge, shortly before packing my bags, waving goodbye and heading South for my long awaited (by me at least) return to my industrially temperature-controlled temporary South Bank residence tomorrow morning – woohoo!
Three days of kicking myself for not bothering about the hotel not having air conditioning despite the four star rating (and being completely unable to dress elaborately for appointments, given that I was destined to look like a Doctor Who monster after twenty minutes or so) and I gave up for a brief interlude and took myself out for Blue Monday lunch at Yo Sushi, confused shoe shopping (blazing sun outside, shops full of sturdy boots and sheepskin inside) and a very nice raspberry ripple cone following an unexpected cancellation at half past twelve, or more likely a never-intended-turning-up along with Mr 3 o’clock Timewaster who started plausibly enough with a polite request for a one hour appointment with anal, but then gave himself away by solemnly describing the gargantuan size of his penis with a concerned tone that made me have to bite the strap of my handbag, and followed up by asking if I was ‘shaven’ – is it 1986? Needless to say as ever, my number was removed from Adultwork with a sigh of resigned relief within the hour, and incredibly the ridiculous calls stopped at Exactly The Same Time. Spooky.
Fortunately the real gentlemen of Cambridge were extremely forgiving and whilst the weather prevented any particularly athletic turns, a fine time has been had by all, especially me (despite circumstances requiring me to wash my hair twice in one day for the first time in about ten years, and having to resemble Crystal Tipps as a result until I’d had a chance to batter it into submission with a nights sleep). My accommodation has also been some of the most extraordinarily pleasant and well appointed for some time; charming decor, proper sausages as well as actual served tea and toast at breakfast (many readers know of my pathological loathing for the make-your-own-so-we-don’t-have-to rotating toast machines which are slowly becoming endemic, even in hotels where one does not have to put coins in the television). Plus crisp and heavy cotton bedlinen that I swear actually crunched a bit upon reclining, and was so snowily, meditatively perfect when I arrived that I was unable to touch it, and instead just looked at it from the little chaise also kindly provided until my first caller (fortunately a raffish type who spared no time in helping to break the New Bed spell) arrived a little later.
To the rest of the week, and I will be arriving in London shortly before lunch tomorrow (Tuesday) and am provisionally available from about twelve noon until five pm, although notice please as always. There are some appointments remaining on Wednesday, one on Thursday afternoon and that’s about it – anybody who suspects they may have left it too late is very welcome to a place on the standby list, so do get in touch! In the meantime, I will be spending this evening finishing off my latest Kindle acquisition ‘Penal Colony‘ (highly recommended too), eating the last of the picnic food from the mini bar (bar my special posh pork pie bought in town today, which is for tomorrow) and packing my bags in the nudie-rudie. Yay!
Back in That Scarborough from Monday, for those who keep asking (although it will probably no longer look like this). Can we please have autumn back now?