adore amy

another one bites the dust…

And the strangely paced and eerily lit limbo that stretches between Christmas and New Year draws to a close – the oddness of having shops and banks open (barely, or at least provided you didn’t blink) and people going back to work while there are still films with recognisable actors on television during the day and turkey in the fridge, nary a heartbeat after the full-on panic stations of the last weekend and the inevitable after-calm has always lent this time of year an air of unfinished business to my mind, despite the fact that the last time I left the house on New Years Eve Tony Blair was still in Downing Street. I still have that dress somewhere.

For nine days I have wandered comfortably about the place pyjama-clad, sandwich in hand and satsumas, remotes and nutcrackers close by, the snow and ice having dashed any travel plans both for my original visitors and myself and the quiet, serene atmosphere created by not having to have a single face to face conversation with anybody not possessed of scales and fins for five days has been refreshing and restorative beyond belief (and if anyone was wondering whether goldfish enjoy turkey and sprouts – they do, although sans gravy for obvious reasons).

I have watched television at midday (my all-time favourite being Miracle on 34th Street, I was overjoyed to see that both the original and remake were shown approximately 24 hours apart), eaten huge cooked dinners in the middle of the afternoon and switched off my work phone for a full three days – as it happened, another three wouldn’t really have hurt considering that the Can’t Read, Won’t Read callers were back with a vengeance from Wednesday and I have been dutifully ignoring anybody whose number I have not recognised ever since, following some bewilderingly obnoxious text exchanges with people who saw fit to hurl abuse at the drop of a hat because they couldn’t get their own way (‘their own way’ generally consisting of a half hour booking beginning at some unspecified point in the next hour *yawns, stretches*). I have also, and with the help of several of my Christmas presents, started a brand new knitting project and managed to completely vapourise my ever-growing mending pile while almost finishing off all my outstanding DVD box sets (the regular accusations that successful independent ladies are endangering impressionable youngsters by unrealistically glamourising prostitution would seem to be more than a little unfounded, unless your idea of the high life is learning bramble stitch in front of Location, Location, Location).

To the coming week, and the £100ph Winter Sale is back (as is getting to be traditional) to cheer everybody up after the end of all the festive stuff,  from Monday 3rd to Saturday the 8th inclusive! Edinburgh gentlemen will remember the appalling weather of this time last year and the snow is rumoured to be returning for Phase Three later in the week, but even so, availability is going surprisingly fast and I am looking likely to be very busy for most of the next few days (at the time of writing). I will not be taking ANY same day bookings (as if those people who ask for them are likely to be reading this), and this special discount rate is clearly stated as applying to advance bookings only – arrangements made any time up to and including close of business the day before will be fine.

Most excitingly of all, I have finally started making arrangments for my big trip of the year – thanks to my very helpful friend Kinky La Rue (who will be visiting a month later herself, for those who may be planning to really spoil themselves) alerting me to the Big Seat Sale just at the very second I was getting the bread sauce organised and putting the parsnips in the oven of Christmas Day (and not a moment too soon, since the prices were rising, well, fast) I will be in New York at the beginning of March for a few days sightseeing, shopping and making lots of new friends! I have never been before, but hope to make it a regular visit – we’ll see how it goes; for the benefit of my prospective US callers I will be composing a separate bit with all the hows, whys, and wherefores very soon, so I will not extrapolate too much at the moment). Anyway, and back at the ranch, one large plateful of turkey-with and a scant half-dozen After Eights later I discovered my passport expires the week before I fly. List making time…

Anyway, time is drifting on and I haven’t eaten a single solitary thing for well over half an hour, so to all those wonderful gents who I’ve shared good times with in 2010, the fabulous ladies who’ve shared stories, laughs, girly gossip and advice, the support workers, campaigners and activists I am so proud to be involved with and anybody else who is taking the time to actually read all the way to the end…

*** A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR AND ALL THE BEST FOR 2011! ***

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