the spin off!
For those who don’t use the site, I avoid displaying a website link on my Adultwork profile (despite paying the requisite £1 a day) purely because I don’t particularly want the users of only that site to have my real phone number. As regular readers will know, the advertised number there is a dud and I only show it because my ‘Tour’ advertising would not be visible if I did not (there is nothing in the rule book that states the phone has to be switched on). It would probably be fair to say that will lose me some work, but as many ladies would probably concur, that is a little like saying that not jumping in a cesspool loses you an opportunity to go swimming.
The information given on the profile page I have created is specifically tailored towards the users of the site, and so far has worked perfectly in sorting the wheat from the chaff, albeit highlighting an awful lot of chaff and barely enough wheat to make even a lone crumpet. Plus, the wheat tend to have the nous for a spot of Googling and generally end up here where we are now; for those who do not, I had intended to provide a link directly from here to there by way of improving international relations and offering a useful insight into the Way We Do Things Round Here.
This, however, despite fulfilling all of the requirements as far as I could see (basically having one of their banners planted within three mouseclicks and to this end, I added one especially to my homepage which can be reached via About Amy) was apparently not allowed, and after a couple of email queries which elicited nothing more than tenously linked stock replies, I gave up and started a separate one on the very site. Quite what I hope to achieve by this I do not rightly know, but since it seemed like a good idea at the time (and having seen some of the others, I envisage that opportunities for taking the piss will be ripe and plentiful), I have placed a link on the right here for anyone who wants to have a look, although many of you will recognise the latest entry from this very spot and those who, like me, are prone to a little self indulgent nostalgia may enjoy another read. Anyways, the plan is to eventually synchronise the two, but for the time being there will be extra little snippets for those who want them and why not?
On to this week and after several months of procrastination and dithering (OK, a couple of years, or pretty much since I finally moved into my not-quite-luxury-but-getting-there apartment on South Cliff), I have decided to take the bull by the horns and join my local gym, partly in the interests of getting out and about in a rather more active fashion then pottering languidly around the food hall, but also because the temptation of having a sauna, steam room and spa treatments suite a scant five minute walk away had become too much for me to ignore. It is truly surprising how quickly being confined to base can become cabin-feveresque, and the chance to turn my back on paint, dust and laundry as well as the endless admin, enquiry-sorting and scouting of train tickets/hotels/new places to obtain fancy G cup bras was too good to miss. Plus, most excitingly of all, there is absolutely NO mobile signal whatsoever…
I have today been for my ‘induction’, whereupon curious and intriguing equipment was demonstrated, forms were filled in and an exercise plan composed before getting down to the serious business of a few freestyle (being a latecomer to swimming, this comprises my unique breast stroke and dogpaddle combo) laps in the pool followed by an hour in the prone position enjoying the heat of the sauna, the blanket of eucalyptus-scented fog in the steam room and the scurrilous unmitigated cack of the Daily Mail (all that was left). Having returned home suitably refreshed, I have decided that second hand paperbacks would seem to be a worthwhile addition to the kit list, along with clean knickers, hair conditioner, pound coins for the lockers and a Caramac for the walk home.
Those who are appreciative of a pleasingly soft and curvy lady need not fear; I have no intention of ever resembling the type of skinny, muscular gym body types and anyway, there are only so many hours in the day. I have scientifically(ish) calculated the amount of extra food my new pastime will allow me to consume daily and am pleased to report that my findings are very encouraging, both for me and the people who make Frazzles, Nutella and my favourite, the never-surpassed Iced and Spiced Soft Bun from Marks and Spencer. And I will hopefully be brighter, fitter and more flexible, although I may also smell intermittently of chlorine.
I will keep reports on my progress updated! Meanwhile, my availability over the coming days will depend on my ability to get out of bed unaided …wish me luck.
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